Today I went to a stake enrichment where we had little classes on different subjects and one of them was turning lemons into lemonade. One thing I learned was that perfection cannot and will not be reached until we have been resurrected and judged so that is one thing less that we can beat ourselves up over. We all criticize ourselves for not being perfect and it takes a toll on our happiness. We need to always be striving for perfection and be a little better today than we were yesterday, but we also need to stop beating ourselves up for not being perfect NOW. It's not gonna happen people, sorry.
This has kind of gone along with something that I've been thinking about and I would love for this to be a discussion: Why are women so hard on each other? Why is it that ALL women, no matter what nationality, religion, color, language, anything, are so tough and judgemental of other women? We don't even give ourselves a break from this judging but we also don't just limit it to ourselves. Now I'm not saying that all of the judgements are necessarily harsh and cruel but thinking that someone else is perfect and has the perfect life and that nothing is hard for them is also a judgement. And a very innaccurate one at that. Guys aren't near that harsh on people, usually. Is it maybe because we are wired to be multitaskers and everything is connected with everything else? What do you guys think?
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We discussed a little in relief society, how the men have the power to hold the priesthood, and woman have the power to nurture. I think because of that power in us, we notice little things in other people. We notice when the woman in line at the grocery store is missing an earring, we notice when our child sounds different because they're having a bad day. We notice things, and it's not a bad thing, sometimes we just use it badly, and judge others. We're given this gift to help others, that's why we notice those things. But like you said, we're not perfect, and won't be in this life, so we use it how we know how.
Ok, so this is something that popped into my head, I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. . .
I've wanted to reply to this post for a while, and just haven't felt I had time to do it. So, here it is! :)
I think that the basis for women judging other women is found in society's view of womanhood. Someone else is always telling women (in general) how to look, how to act, how to mother, how to clean, etc. Because of this, there is an unreal standard set up that none of us feel we can ever live up to. (Maybe this is just me?) When we recognize that we can't be what society says we should be, we want company in being imperfect and human.
I think this makes us look around at other people and recognize their faults. No one ever wants to feel like they're at the bottom of the "I'm So Great" list. It's OK if others have strengths in our eyes, as long as we feel we have strengths, too. But, we often throw in those faults so we feel that we match up to them in some way or another.
I think the key to not judging other women is to be more gentle with ourselves. When we can learn to constantly feel the love of our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ--when we recognize that Christ's sacrifice eliminates those perceived inequalities, we can truly love ourselves regardless of anyone else's strengths. We no longer feel threatened by others because we know that who we are and what we are doing is important to the only ones that really matter.
I think that sometimes we think that if we can concentrate on someone else's faults we won't have to recognize and dwell on our own. It doesn't really work but if we're miserable we might as well make someone else miserable. Now we just have to learn to make ourselves and others happy.
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